Wednesday 16 March 2016

Spik Scots a' the time? D'ye wear a suit a' the time?

Freelance "journalist" (I use the term lightly) Stephen Daisley has cam unner attack for haeing the temerity tae post a Tweet, trying tae claim that contemporary Scots isnae a language in it's ain richt.  The man is at the wind-up, and ane only need gae tae his Twitter feed tae see it, whaur he is pitting doon replies wi' a haughty, high-faluting arrogance only a reactionary cur like him wad cam oot wi'.

I'll nae lower maseel tae respond Daisley oan Twitter, but aiblings there are things I will hae tae sae aboot his Tweet.  "Feel free to claim contemporary Scots is a language," quod the bold Stephen frae the safety o' his keyboard, "but put your principles into action; speak it at work, in job interviews, at the bank."

Eh, dearie me, Stephen.  Ye great daft gowk.  Sae happens that I hae warked in customer services in call centres for big finance hooses, an energy supply company, and a certain weel-kent online retailer, wha's name alludes tae a river in sooth America.  Like mony companies, these big names chose tae locate their customer services in Scotland.  Why?  Aiblings studies hae shown that fowk like the Scots accent, and sae mony complainit tae companies aboot haein tae deal wi' some manny in India or Pakistan, they decidit tae base their customer services here in bonny Scotland.

Whan ye wark in sic a field, aiblings ye hae tae mak yirseel clear tae the customer, grantit.  But that disnae necessarily mean haein tae spik Received Pronunciation (RP) English.  Maist fowk across the UK kin weel unnerstaund whit ye say in Scots, sae lang as ye annunciate yir wards clearly, wi'oot getting a' pan-loafy aboot it.  And it sae happens, whan ye wark in sic a field, ye deal daily wi' accents frae the length and breadth o' the British Isles.  I've seen maseel confoundit wi' a broad Tyneside accent I cudnae mak oot.

But afore ye e'en get thon sort o' job, ye hae the job interview first.  And I hae hud interviews whaur baith maseel and the interviewer hae spik broad Scots.  Happens I wis at ane just recent, whaur ane o' the interviewers wis a Buchan Quine, wha spieled broad Doric.  Jist as weel I hae expericence o' Doric spikkin freends or I wad hae been loast.  But aibings ye hae tae annunciate clearly at a job interview.  Aye, and if ye want tae mak a guid impression, ye'll wear yir best claithes as weel.  I wear a suit tae interviews.  Dae I wear that a' the time.  Indeed I do nocht.  And I hae ma doots neither dae the interviewers, or (and I may be wrang here), Stephen Daisley for that matter.  Sae, if I dinnae wear a suit a' the time, why wad I wear a language a' the time?  Fact is, I wadnae, and neither wad maist ithers.

If I gae tae the bank, I spik Scots tae them, as I dae tae a'body else in ma every day life.  Aiblings the tellers like it, for it means thae needna pit airs and graces oan wi' me, and they kin spik their ain tongue as weel; it relaxes them, and that lends itseel tae a better customer service experience.  I've nae time for some high-faluting, Miss Jean Brodie wi a ploom in her mooth, and ye tend tae find neither dae the majority o' the UK public.

I weel mind a story ma ain auld mither ance teelt.  She went intae a bakers in central Edinburgh, and asked the lassie ahint the counter, "How much are yir burnt rolls?"
"You mean 'well-fired'." replied the lass in a pan-loaf voice.
"Naw, hen," quod ma mither, "I mean BURNT."
Maw hud as much time for airs and graces as I hae, especially whan they're pit-oan.

Aibilngs Stephen Daisley cud be trying tae sae that contemporary Scots isnae a language, but auld Scots is.  Trouble wi' thon sort o' thinking is that language, ony language, is a living, evolving thing, and if Daisley has his doots aboot that, then I suggest he pick up a copy o' the Oxford English Dictionary (in his line o' wark, I'm assuming he's familiar wi' the buik - althae being Stephen Daisley, I cud be weel wrang), and hae a look through it whaur he wull find wards whit werena in the English tongue nae e'en ten years agae, but which are common noo.  Aiblings if language didnae evolve, then thae what spik RP English wad still be saying "Ye", "thee", "thou", and sic like.  Jist sae happens the modern English ward "doable" maks me cringe, and the spelling o' it immediately makes me think "joabbie".  It cud ayesay be said that "television", which has been wi' us for ower a hunnert years, shouldnae be in the English language, as it's a bastardised hybridisation o' twa Greek and Latin wards, "tele" and "visio".

I hae ma doots though that Daisley is jist trying tae claim that Scots isnae a language in it's ain richt, whan in fact it evolvit wi' different influences tae English, and cud e'en be aulder.  Whan the Anglo-Saxons wha were assimilating wi' the Gaelic Scots, Britons, Picts, Norse, brocht their tongue north, the English were spikkin Norman French.  Hae a look a map o' Northumbria, and ye'll find the village o' Pity Me.  This is naething tae dae wi' feeling pity, but is a corruption o' the original name Petite Mere, meaning "Little Sea".  By the end o' the twelfth century, the Bishop o' Dunkeld penned a letter, in which he statit "The kingdom of Alba is becoming known as Scotland" (it'll ne'er catch oan).

It jist sae happens that whit we considerit "standard" English in fact is nae mair aulder than the late 16th tae mid 17th centuries, and hud thrie catalysts; the English Wycliffe Bible, the warks o' William Shakespeare, and the King James English translation o' the Bible.  But e'en o' a' thrie, Shakespeare hud the greatest influence, wi' mony o' his wards and phrases remaining common parlance in English tae this day; a fact I'll assume that Stephen Daisley is aware o' (agin, I cud be wrang).  But if thon is the case, and given that afore thae days ayebody in England stuck tae their ain local dialects, it cud strongly be arguit that the entire English language is based upon the writings o' ane mon, wha like ayebody else, wad hae penned in his ain dialect.  And thon being said, that then begs the question, is English the language o' a people, or jist ane o' them?

Perhap Daisley thinks that it's slang, because it's nae "proper" talk like.  And I see oan Twitter that he tries tae tie the use o' the Scots tongue tae the cause for Scots independence. It wad interest Daisley tae learn that broad Scots wis ance talked by thae dangerous, rebellious, anarchists, ermm, the Scots judiciary.  The Advocates Library in Edinburgh aboonds wi' court cases gaein back hunners o' years, and I aye am wont tae remind fowk o' this wee quote frae ane case as recent as the 19th century, involving twa wha were accusit o' breakin' intae a hoose whan the owner wis in ('hamesucking');

"Cam awa, cam awa, Meester Magistrate.  Let us hingit thae twa demned scoondrils fir the henious crime o' hamesucking."

Use thon sort o' language in a Scots court today, and ye'd be bangit up for comtempt.

Happens tae that when John Joy Bell wrote his heartwarming tales o' a wee Glasgow boy, Wee MacGreegor, he wrote it in broad Scots.  But then, I cud show Daisley and a' thae wha think like him ma great-grandfaither's scrapbook, wi' clippings frae auld, 19th century, Scots newspapers (written by proper journalists) wi' mony a quote in broad Scots.

Sae if Scots wis sae prevalant in the 19th century, whit became o' it?  I believe there wis a concertit effort tae get rid o' Scots as "slang" by thae wha were as short-sightit as Stephen Daisley, and wan need look nae further than Paisley Close, oan the Royal Mile o' Edinburgh for the proof o' thon.  Oan 24 November 1861, the shoogly, ancient tenement o' 103 High Street collapsed intae the street, killing 35 fowk.  Rescuers clearing debris were jist aboot tae gae up whan they heard a voice crying oot "Heave awa lads, I'm no' deid yet."  Scrambling frantically, they uncoverit a wee laddie, 10-year-auld Joseph McIvor, what was a wee bit cut here and there, bruised, but nae banes broken, and itherwise unhairmed.  Whan the present Paisley Close wis built, a frieze o' wee Joseph wis pit abune the close entrance, wi' the somewhit Anglicised inscription o' his wards, "Heave awa chaps, I'm not dead yet".  Because of course, a Royal Mile tyke soundit jist like ane laddie frae a ploomb-in-the-mou schule like Watson's or Fettes, didn't he?  Aye, richt (actually, the frieze e'en maks him look like a public school boy).  

Likewise look tae the west o' the city oan auld maps and ye'll find the street jist aff Brunstfield Links o' Wrychtishousis. Noo, it sae happens that it's claimed that the street taks it's name frae wrights wha ance lived there.  I'm nae convincit o' thon.  "Wrychtis" in auld Scots kin mean wrights, but it kin alsae mean "righteous".  Sae, thon wad mak the name mean in the English, "home of the righteous", and jist tae support thon, there's a great muckle kirk at the fit o' the street, wi' ane o' the highest steeples in Edinburgh.  In ma ain area, the cooncil pulled doon the auld Moredun (Gaelic root; "Great Hill") Primary Schule and named a new hoosing development "Goodtrees".  Jist sae happens that thon o' us in the ken, are aware that while thae in their bocht hooses, surroondit by a cooncil estate, think themseels a cut abune us, the name Goodtrees is a corruption o' the original name - Gutteries.  Basically their boasting that they live in a stank.  Jist like in the 1920s the city faithers o' Edinburgh tried tae mak oot that the Burdiehouse district cam frae "Bordeaux", whan in reality, it dates back tae the "Burdie Hoose" opened by a madame there in the 16th century - a bordello.  The Anglicisation o' names in ma hame toun alane is sae prevalant, I wunner hoo the only remaining Gaelic-namit street, Croft an Righ, wisane renamit "The King's Farm".

Even whan we look at mony Scots touns and cities, we see thae commonly had narrow alleys ca'ed 'wynds' and 'closes'.  Thon comes frae method's o' crime prevention, whaur an alley wad hae a gated "closed entry" whit wad be lockit at nicht, frae whaur we define 'close', wherebyes wynds werena gated at a'.  There's mony mair examples o' sic Scots wards in common parlance, sae much sae that for Stephen Daisley or the likes o' them tae try tae claim Scots is naething but a slang dialect o' English is a wheen o' blethers.

I am fond o' saying there's room fir a' languages.  Sae happens I hae an unco guid command o' English and I luve the beauty o' it.  But jist because English is the maist common language in Scotland, or the hale o' the UK for that matter, disnae mak it the only language, or in ony wey superior tae ithers.  Yet, the common inference o' the RP brigade is that if ye spik Scots, ye maun be common, and o' course, stupit.  Tom Leonard maks thon point perfectly in his poem "Six O'Clock News";

this is thi six a clock news
thi man said
n thi reason a talk
wia BBC accent  
iz coz yi 
widny wahnt mi 
ti talk aboot thi trooth
wia voice lik
wanna yoo scruff.
if a toktaboot thi trooth 
lik wanna yoo scruff 
yi widny thingk it wuz troo. 
jist wanna yoo scruff tokn. 
thirza right way ti spell
ana right way to tok it.
this is me tokn 
yir right way a spellin.
this is ma trooth. 
yooz doant no thi trooth 
yirsellz cawz yi
canny talk right.
this is the six a clock nyooz.
belt up.

Noo, I'm nae saying that the urban Scots Tom Leonard uses is in ony wey the Scots leid but he maks the point that if ye speak Scots, ye are considerit ignorant, e'en a lesser human being.  There's the rub; for as lang as Scots hae their culture rin doon, then we wull aye be seen as nae as guid as thae wha spik RP English.  Tom Leonard wrote thon poem in 1976.  It wis a year later that I goat the tawse in schule for spikkin Scots by a teacher what said "Ah, good English."  I wadna hae mindit hud I deservit the tawse, but I happenit tae be reading frae Kidnapped.  Seems the RP English brigade think they ken better than Robert Louis Stevenson.

And whiles we are aboot authors, I couldnae help but notice that ane o' Daisley's followers, wha liked his Tweet wis nane ither than the creator o' Harry Potter, J K Rowling.  Thon wad be the same J K Rowling wha during the 2014 Scottish Independence Referendum campaign donatit £1 million tae the unionist side, Better Together, then whan she cam under fire for that, made claims o' opponents being anti-English.  Whiles some were, which as a Yes campaigner and ambassador I roondly condemnit, jist as I dae tae this day, maist ne'er e'en mentioned her English roots.  Sae, it seems it is fine fir Rowling tae play the anti-English caird, yet here she is openly supporting a statement which is blatantly anti-Scottish.  Seems tae me some should practise whit they preach - which Daisley is trying tae accuse thae o' us wha spik Scots o' nae daeing, yet which Rowling obviously cannae see she's no' daeing either.  Wan wanders in fact jist why an author, wha claims tae be sic a great humanitarian, is daeing following and liking the wards o' a man wha's politics lean weel tae the richt, and e'en joked aboot the 1984 murther o' anti-nuclear activist Hilda Murrell; "Hilda Murrell. How the State silences dissent one elderly rose grower at a time." (Daisley later deleted the Tweet, but no' afore it hud been retweeted and kin still be foond oan the internet).  Jist a wee ward, Ms Rowling, if ye lay doon wi' dugs, dinnae be surprisit should ye wake up wi' fleas.

J K Rowling hus been kent tae threaten legal action agin thae wha criticise her.  Let her (or Stephen Daisley) gae aheed and sue me.  For there's naething abune whaur I hae said onything untrue, or cud e'en be remotely construit as anti-English, and asides, I've nae siller and as ane lawyer ance teelt me, "Ye cannae tak the breeks aff a hielander."

Oan a side note, a' I wull say is that as ane wha has ne'er bought ane Harry Potter book or movie, I'm mair than pleased that no' wan ha'penny o' ma siller went intae Rowling's donation tae the unionist cause.

Whan Robert Burns wis penning his wards in the 1780s, there were thae wha teelt him if he wrote in the Scots Leid, naebody wad read them or buy them.  Thrie hunnert years later, whan Charlie and Craig Reid, The Proclaimers, were writing and singing sangs in Scots, there were thae wha teelt them that if they producit their music in Scots, naebody wad listen tae it, or buy their records.  Oan baith occasions the critics couldnae hae been provit mair wrang; jist as in the intervening thrie hunnert years, they huv ayeweys been wrang, jist as critics o' Scots, including the likes o' Stephen Daisley, continue tae be wrang.  But then, in the wards o' The Proclaimers;

You say that if I waant tae get ahead
The language I use should be left for dead;
It disnae please yir ear.
And though ye tell it like a leg-pull,
It seems yir still fu' o' John Bull;
Ye jist refuse tae hear.
(The Proclaimers, "Throw the R Away")

There's an important lesson here; if ye treat onybody as inferior because o' their tongue, then ye are immediately saying that anither culture maun be superior tae theirs.  This wisnae loast oan the rulers o' the auld apartheid regime in South Africa, whaur ayebody wis forcit tae learn Afrikaans, much tae the detriment o' native tribal languages, and whan their languages went, their culture wisnae faur ahint.  Or aiblings as Scots, we kin see the dangers in oor ain land, which we hae naebody else tae blame for.  There are Pictish stones a' aroond oor country whit we cannae decipher, due tae Pictish culture and society being sae roondly destroyit.  Likewise, in the auld Jarldom o' Orkney, which stretchit frae Unst tae Sutherland, the language ande spikken wis Norn.  Today Norn is a deid language, and only wee bits o' the Norse culture o' Shetland, the Orcades and Sutherland remain.  Think aboot it; if ye cannae spik yir ain tongue, than whit culture wull ye be left wi'?

Sae it is whan the likes o' Stephen Daisley expect us tae changit oor tongue, they in fact ask us tae view oor ain culture as inferior, and tae reject it as sic.  It is a grand irony that Daisley whiles attacks some kinds o' bigotry in his columns; he has just recently penned (quite richtly) a blistering attack oan the Labour Party for their apparent ingrained anti-Semitism.  But while trying tae play the social justice warrior, sae lang as Stephen Daisley denitgrates Scots, then he himseel is a bigot; it's jist that his bigotry is selective.  And I'm nae sure o' it but I'm given tae unnerstaund that Daisley is himseel a Scot.  If thon be true, then that maks him the warst kind o' bigot, wha wad rin doon his ain tongue, his ain culture, and his ain fowk; the type whae I ca' an "Uncle Tam".
 
And should Stephen Daisley find and read this, then jist wan final ward.  He describes himseel as a "freelance journalist", and gaes oan tae attack the Scots leid.  It jist sae happens in the tumultuous history o' the Scottish borders, there were "swords for hire", wha wad offer their services tae the highest bidder.  Thae mercenaries were kent in Scotland as "free lancers",  frae whaur we tak the modern ward, "freelance".

Waant tae think agin, Stephen?


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